Please send your responses to Diane.

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Diane,
I am also a teacher. Do not let your principal know anything. The only time he can ask is if there is something that impacts your job. You may want to talk to your union rep to see where you stand. If there is a teacher you trust you can tell. Feel them out on knowing information.

I would definitely be careful who I talked to about it. I have shared with my brother and sister and my husband, of course.

One of the best things I have done is to communicate with my parts by journaling, drawing, or doing age appropriate activities.
Hang in there. I am nearly integrated. There is hope!
Cathy

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Dear Diane,

I personally do a lot of joking about it. I'm a pretty up front person when it comes to talking about myself. I don't work outide of the home and I am trying to get my own business going on and off, but there is not real rush for me. I'm lucky that way. I have a great amount of respect for those of us who are able to work full time. I don't think you need to tell anyone unless you are not able to have some co-conscious ability.

People who are my closest friends know because I feel safe and trust that they would understand any changing behavior. I still am told from time to time about things I can't remember being told or doing. Not having to go to work I'm ok with it all. I do a lot of online things with in the many groups of multiples and adult survivors of child abuse so that I get to share what I've learned about myself and the lessons this life has given me. From this I've watched so many grow in confidence of themselves.

We are a group of Dissociates who are empowered with the knowledge that we are not alone. Is there any special reason why you feel you should share this with the people you work with? There are many support groups on the internet where you can perhaps fine others who work and have struggled with this issue. Just keep looking and asking questions? Answers will come.

Stay safe and good luck, Lady J

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Dear Diane,

Oprah always says (and I agree, based on experience) that doubt usually means "don't". If you hesitate and feel unsure about revealing your dissociative experiences with your colleagues, there is probably a good reason for this. And your inner intuitive sense knows this. You may feel that this isolates you. However, while setting you apart, this also protects you and your interests. I wouldn't be surprised if at least some of your colleagues also withold certain personal information about themselves - for the same reason that you consider. Another woman, a teacher like yourself, wrote a book about her very similar experience. In fact, she used a pseudonym in writing this narrative. She did so for the same reasons that you express, and says so in the forward. I don't remember the name of the book. If you can track it down, and keep it around, you may feel less alone.

Living Earth

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Hi Diane,

I understand how you feel. It is a lonely place to be.

I also am a teacher and felt that if people knew (about my situation) that I would lose my job. I was very careful whom I told and chose a couple of people that I knew:
1: would be non judgmental
2: would be confidential

At one point I did some sharing about my history that I regret very much now having told. So my advice is that you need to protect all of you. Maybe some parts will be sorry if you disclose. I found that people really did not need to know all about me in order to be a friend.

I also feel that the sharing I did, changed relationships with people. Some have preconceived ideas and some are just not able to relate.

Daisy

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Dear Diane,

I know the feeling of isolating. To most people I have been in isolation now for over 5 years. But in our world today, it's pretty hard to be totally isolated. Hopefully you have some communication with others.

First, What I do is, take a realistic view of the situation. As hard as I sometimes try, it seems I can't get away from everybody, darn it! Therefore, in reality, I am not isolated, but usually alone. My "perception" of aloneness, I perceive as a form of peace, and a blessing. To be involved with others often has caused much discontentment for me, and has turned into pain and discomfort. Often I count aloneness as a blessing. Being alone can cause disassociation. But at the time, I'm not really sure if I'm feeling lonely or alone. For me, they are at times, the same. It's how I perceive myself at that time, which makes the difference.

This leads to a "personal responsibility" to make my time useful, the best I can. Don't think I have mastered that idea, but in a gentle discipline, I always try (which at times, since I am human, I fail). But I have to keep trying. It takes work, but it is so wonderful to accomplish growth, even if it is a little bit. I try to set goals. Remember, the best part of having a goal, is that you have one. We need to take responsibility for ourselves to grow or staginate.

On one such day, I could not focus on a goal, so I took a pencil, and tried to draw "where" I wish I could be. It was wintertime, and the picture I drew was that of a warm beach and the ocean, during the summer. Then I realized, I found another goal....to endure the winter, so I could feel the warm sun on my body, and to swim in the wavebreak at the shore.

Somehow for me, nothing too good or too bad lasts very long. My changes always are in a context of time. So, patience is a practice for me and not easy, but its rewards do happen, yet is a reward itself. And is a matter of "maturity".

I have a poster I framed in my bedroom. It is of a tropical island, white sand, and blue water. At the bottom is a saying:....
The poor long for riches, the rich long for heaven, but the wise "seek" tranquility.

I have "learned" that aloneness can be a blessing. It is better than being yelled at or verbally abused or accused. Have you ever been with someone, and been ignored? I have. I felt more alone, with that someone, then I did by myself. So, sometimes, I have a "choice", to be lonely and alone, or with someone and ignored. This is often causes isolation.

But it is a matter of responsibility, what to do while I am alone. This requires, (assertiveness) and a (goal). I often, have to exercise or take a walk to pump myself up just to focus, and often exhaust my self in the act. See, it's hard for me too, and I often fail, but I am not feeling sorry for myself anymore, and won't give up, because as soon as I do that, I feel worthless and bad....and I HATE FEELING BAD.

So, I have another "choice" to feel bad or good. Which choice do you think I should take? ...If you think (feel good), perhaps I have given you an idea, to try yourself.
Good Luck, Mitch

P.S. - There is a good book called "How to be your own best friend". We can feel good while isolated, when we meet others, they have a better impression of us. This helps make us and (them) more secure about everthing. And you have a right not to like them, even if they like you, so be honest with yourself and them, if you can.