Hi, Jacki,

Have no majic potions and still go through my own stuff, sleeping away a day or so when I need to......But fight it when it is longer than that.......I have found several triggers to my moods mainly eliminating sugar.........specifically candy, sugar(added to coffee, etc.), SODA and juice on empty stomach.........Protein imperative, carbs, too, fruits, veggies........Exercise, even when I hate it.........Take out books on tape from library and walk listening.........I only allow myself these treats when I walk, so the curious parts will definitely walk. Finding Codependency meetings....good way to push myself out the door when all else fails.... Meditate, love yourself, love all your parts no matter what and hug them....I talk to myself a great deal....I break up fights and act as a therapist as a mother as a friend who is here to protect all the parts that are hurting.

It is a process and I go backwards but I work on not dwelling on what I am not doing as much as what I am doing for ME even if it is sitting down and reading letters on Many Voices..... ALWAYS REMEMBER, first sign of healing is when we acknowledge and then reach out for help, so keep up the great work.

Me & My Parts

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Dear Jacki,

I've been somewhat where you are, although in my own way. It's a delicate spot because without the motivational zing that used to be there, depression can come knocking at the door and complicate things further. I wish for you to be able to help yourself, (and I know you can) so that you can continue to be the wonderful person I am sure you are. Each person has to find their way through these impasses.

Make sure you are checking in with your doctor, it sounds like you have been. I haven't yet, but have been tempted to ask mine for a trial of Ritalin due to ongoing concentration problems.

Things I do are: if nothing else, get showered and head to a daily Mass or do whatever I need to do to gain spiritual strength. Secondly, I force myself to get on my treadmill, even if I have to hang on the handrails and cry my way through it. After I am done, I feel powerful and like I have taken a step to overcome the obstacle of "giving up", which is what my perpetrators wanted me to do. Plus, those "feel good" endorphins kick in, it's true. Another thing I do is subscribe to daily e-mails from www.Flylady.net who inspires me in a fun way to tackle household clutter that can get me down.

Do you have a friend who can help you? Hang around somebody who is energetic and it kind of rubs off sometimes. Sometimes our processes are two steps forward and one step back, but at least we are gaining. I know you will find your way through because you can. You've come this far which is a long way. I don't know if my outlook is helpful to you, but remember you have my concern and prayers.
KC