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Dear Donna,

My solution to this problem has been to self talk very assertively to those young parts. I tell them that they are safe and that I need to know what secrets they are hiding. I speak out loud and write and insist that they "come to the surface".. What usually happens (and it takes some time) is that there is a breakthrough when the memory comes closer to my consciousness. I usually have some idea this is about to happen because I become totally unable to hold myself in the present time without that awareness that I have some company. Then I take the day off and draw and write and let the memory surface usually with the part drawing itself or some clue as to what and who was hiding. I learned some of these techniques when I was in art therapy. "I" hope this helps.

Carol M.


Dear Donna,

As I am not a therapist but still a beginner in therapy, it would seem to me that you are not ready to decrease your sessions as of yet. Can you continue your regular sessions and still try entering the outside world? To me it would seem the logical thing to do.

I do know in my case, I can only afford therapy every other week, but still feel the need for more sessions to cope. I somehow manage to squeeze in an extra session or two but go without other expenses I may need. Unfortunately, I have an eating disorder so therefore food is an expense I eliminate. Maybe not a good choice, but one I can handle. I am working on eating better but my priorities come first. If I can not cope with certain issues, then I will not eat anyway. So I figure if I need the extra session, I go. I then begin to feel a little better and my eating starts to increase. I could be wrong but while entering the outside world, you may need the help entering into it.

Maybe the regular sessions can help you cope while entering. I think by entering the outside world and decreasing therapy would be a tremendous strain on your mind. You will have a difficult time dealing with it. I think by your message, you are trying to be extra brave and strong to tackle the world by your bare hands. And you are very brave to try. I give you great credit for that. BUT, sometimes with issues we both have, the strain of it all will bring out every alter you have and cause great confusion. Confusion will then make you withdraw because you will not know how to handle the situation, as you will not know which alter to go by. You need to know how to decide without the alters.

Easy to say, hard to do.... as I know. I still have great difficulty dealing with issues because of my alters popping out all the time. I am still learning how to think on my own. How to tell little Brenda she is all right and telling my rebellious teenager I do not need to do certain things to be accepted, etc. I wish you well and hope the best for you. I also hope I was of some help to you, if not, at least a little comfort knowing you are not alone. Good Luck and I would like to know what you decide to do and how you make out. I care for you!!!!!



Practice and time are the only things that work. Our situations are different in some ways but we all share the feelings of frustration, denial, fear and down the road relief. I can't tell you exactly how it's done but I can confidently say from my experience and hundreds here on the web, that with time and knowledge with a whole lot of acceptance of "ourselves" it does happen.

Do I still have problems some days in certain situations? Sure do. The difference is I know what is happening and I can find the source and eliminate it from my safe world. So many times when new people find their way to these forum and my groups one of the first things they want to know is "how do I stop this?" My personal thoughts are "their was nothing that "I" could do. It had to come from the inside out.

I've heard it said for many things in 12 step programs "it's an inside job" and boy does that fit us. Though we have many voices clamoring to be heard once the co-consciousness starts. In time they will learn to work together. Until then you learn to keep yourself in safe places and around safe people.

My heart goes out to those of us who have to maintain a "real" working job. I found it hard to work even when I was the boss. Many times I was released from therapy because I knew everything they could ever teach me. Then about two years down the road I'd be back. Of course I grew up in a time where DID/MPD was not very well known and what was shown in movies and books was not us. But we are many now and most of us seek to educate the professionals to our truth.

Looking on the web and finding places to learn will help you. Lady Jz Talk Zone message board/web site are listed in the links. From there you will meet others who share with you the things that worked for them. Being able to recognize that there is a difference in how you feel before and after sessions is a step up on this journey. Before I started feeling a difference I went through my life confusing everyone even myself, because there was no awareness at all till I was around twenty one. At that point I just thought I talked to my self a lot. I was in my later thirties when I started searching for answers. I found many and most applied to me. I didn't understand that at first. How could so many opinions work for me? Then I realized that each thing worked for a different part of me.

so keep searching for your answers. Remember though "that it is not the destination that matters, it's the journey".

Lady J