To Kathy:

The thing I have found most helpful with dealing with other parts of me that are spending too much money is that I tell everyone inside me that I'm going to make an announcement. Then I say things like, "You guys, I know it's really fun to spend money and buy lots of things to have, but we're gonna run out of money before the end of the month and we won't be able to buy anything else good for the rest of the month and that won't be any fun. We have to pay the rent so we can have a place to live, we have to pay the phone bill so we can talk on the phone whenever we want to, etc." Then, depending on how many parts you have inside you, you could tell everyone to make a list of what they want to buy (in order of importance). If there are too many parts or they want too many things right away, then you could give everyone a number (this would probably only work if you have co-consciousness) and hold a drawing and take turns that way. Hope this helps.

Shari A.


Hello Kathy,

When this happened to us, we found it to be a control issue on the behalf of the alter. She needed to feel in control of something and this was her way. What we did was give an allowance that she had total control over, to spend and she liked as long as what she spent it on was not harmful to us or anyone else. Example, if we had been in a store and she saw a shirt she wanted, when her allowance time came, she knew she had control of her own money and could chose whether or not to go back and buy that shirt. Oft times, we learned it was also "impulse" spending. She found that she really did not *want* that shirt and oft times held on to her money (another control issue) and decided to save up for things instead of doing impulse spending with her allowance. We also introduced the aspect of "earning" her allowance. She helped internally and on occasion, externally to receive her allowance. It was up to her whether she got her allowance for that month based upon whether she earned it or not. Again, this placed her in control of having the allowance as well.

I sincerely hope that this helps. VC


Hi Kathy,

This financial problem will be resolved when the two (or more) of you gain co-consciousness. The one spending all the money is quite likely fufilling an emotional need, and doesn't have access to the stabilizing influence that you are due to the dissociation! If the two of you work together, this can improve. For awhile, the other one will probably find ways around limits because the emotional need is so great. But this can change. I had a part that spent lots of money on CDs and books and was completely unaware of any problem- this adolescent alter would also give $40 to a stranger on the street if asked. I had another alter who believed we deserved nothing and would give our sheets and towels and all else to the poor (to the point that we would have nothing). These are just two examples. It took us months and months, actually years, to gain financial co-consciousness. Even the process of keeping a checkbook, writing things down, keeping an accurate balance was difficult due to dissociation. Now, receipts and finances are in order. This is because of co-consciousness. I still like to purchase a rare CD, give to the poor- but I have sheets and towels! I am also much more cautious about strangers. Things are not extremely distinct and separate, so that now one part is balanced with another. Good luck with this.