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Hi PM,

I have been in therapy on & off since 1991. The first place I went to had a sliding fee scale based on people's income for how much they had to pay. That was extremely helpful, til I got on disability. Perhaps you could see if someplace around you has a sliding scale? I know it's difficult to concentrate on doing therapy work while you're worried about the money.
I've had therapists that want me to work at my own pace, and that worked best for me. I tried seeing a female therapist one time, who totally had the whole next year mapped out for me. She told me I was going to see a male therapist, which I was not ready for. And she told me all my personalities were going to be integrated within a year because she was going to have me pushed that hard. I never went back there. It is ok to find a different therapist if yours is not working for you. I know I had to feel safe with the therapist, and be allowed to work at my own pace.
There were times where I took breaks from therapy, because it would get to be too much. At times, I saw my therapist twice a week, when I was going through rough spots. Mostly though, at first, it was once a week. But after so many years, I got down to every other week and was good with that. Now it can be every two to four weeks. I just had to figure out what worked best for me. I had a couple therapists that wanted to see me every week, and I didn't feel I needed it. It became an uncomfortable situation for me. I felt like it overshadowed my therapy, and I made no progress. So I found another therapist. If I'm not comfortable with one therapist, I've learned it's ok to switch therapists. It took me a long time before I felt comfortable doing that. You'll figure out what works best for you.

Best wishes.
Debbie E.


Dear PM,

Working to live a better way of life is not easy.  In fact, I find it difficult and sometimes confusing.  Therapy sessions are for your benefit.  You are the one paying, therefore you are the one to set the pace and/or subject.  I have been in therapy for almost three years.  After the first three months I felt I was going no where.  I would dissociate and not have a clue what we discussed.  Then I decided to tape all my sessions.  This way I could review my sessions over and over again.  I also feel I am getting more for my money by taping the sessions. 

To attain a better future for yourself, you must work on specific areas of chioce.  Most important is " taking breaks".  Working too hard will exhaust and burn you out.  I learned this the hard way.  I worked so hard, I had no time to live.  I also found journaling important.  I have two journals:  one for what happened during the day and one for putting only something good which came out of each day.

I, too, agree with Rosebud and Meg.  If you are uncomfortable with your therapist and/or feel he or she is pushing you, it may be time to find another therapist.  Please find one who deals with dissociation, past trauma issues, or other areas you feel are important.

I sincerely hope this helps some.
Take Care,


Dear PM:

I think you may be feeling overwhelmed because the therapy is going “too fast”. Ie, your therapist may be pushing you to feel or uncover material that you’re not ready to deal with. Or it’s just too much for you right now.

Ask your therapist if it would be possible to slow down and just ‘consolidate’ your position now. Tell him or her that you are very concerned about staying functional—since you have to work to be able to pay for therapy, as well as to stay reasonably comfortable. You might also suggest that you don’t want your whole life to be therapy, therapy, therapy. I mean, enough is enough, you know? There is no way to completely erase what has already happened to you in the past. No therapist can do that, no matter how much they (or you) want it to happen.

It happened. What you need now is guidance to help you go on in spite of the trauma.

But you can’t expect your therapist to guess how you’re feeling. You’ve really got to talk straight about this. If—in spite of your attempts to communicate--the therapist keeps saying that your problem is denial, you may need to think about finding a different therapist.

That’s just my 2cents.



Dear PM,

I agree with ROSEBUD. The  kind  of  therapy  we  need  should  not  be  pushed  or  rushed .  Your  therapist  using  the  word
  denial  is  not  correct .   When  you  have  outside responsibilities  plus   therapy,  there  has to be a realistic  balance. 
I  think  therapy  once  a  week  is  often  enough ---  we  all  need  recovery  time  between  sessions. Moving  too  fast  can 
cause  serious  problems  --  if  you  can  not  tell  him/her  these  things  face  to  face and  work it out  together, then
make all  the  others  aware ,  write  a  letter  and  mail  it - 
The  reaction  to  a  letter  like  this  may  show  you  may  need  a  different  therapist,  or  this  one  might  understand  it 
better  when  it's  written -  the  space  and  distance  are  being  used  to  feel  safe.

your feeling  safe  is  the  most  important  issue  here

Best wishes,