Dear Ricky,

I have recently found your site. I am the 'host' of about 25 or so and we have developed a way to communicate that seems to work for us. Many of us have email accounts and regularly contact each other through them. At first it seemed unusual to have pen pals living within the same body. But now I know why I feel jittery or nervous or afraid because I am getting information from the source of those feelings. It has helped us work within our system especially when things come up in sessions or in life in general that others have a reaction to. Also, since I am taking a proactive approach when dealing with their issues, my time loss has actually decreased. Thought I would pass it along.

From Karen


For Ricky

Just came back from my time away which I just accept now.................It is simply different strokes for different folks and it just so happens all these folks are part of me......and some just aren't into this MPD stuff..... It was good for me to read your letter as I am still, although not as much, losing some time. It is no secret with my system...........Something scares us, I leave and take I guess, others and someone takes over. Accepting and not being angry or embarrassed is the first part of my healing.............So now, I giggle...I never did giggle let alone laugh and I practised for years OUT LOUD....So the little ones can see that we can have fun and that they don't have to get scared any more, we are all safe.....Repeatedly this has increased my time with everyone paying attention and enjoying (or not as the case may be) the moment. It is such a slow process and changes happen without ever being aware. SOunds like you are doing just fine and being conscious of your no co-consciousness seems to be well on the road to recovery.....keep up your diligence and love for yourself,



Hi Ricky!

The inside message board (described by Victor, below) sounds good.You might also try an OUTSIDE message board. It could be as simple as a corkboard, or even those magnetized words people can use to make sentences on a refrigerator. Post it in a place where you're comfortable having it out all the time--and let "whoever" put messages on it. Avoid censoring!

If you use the "kindness approach" even with angry sides of yourself, you may be able to improve inside cooperating and eventually, when there's enough trust, you will know what's going on more often. Good luck!



Hello Ricky,

From reading what you wrote, it seems to me that you are concerned about what others are doing when they are out and you are unable to see or hear what is going on. Something that we did/do is have an inside message board.(This may or may not work for you. I like to say that something that works for one does not always work for another but I am willing to say what helped us in case anyone wants to give it a try!)

On the message board, those that for whatever reason, cannot communicate with the host or anyone for that matter, can write on the message board whatever they need to say, request, advice or what have you. Since everyone seems to hear you, perhaps ask those inside to please leave messages on the board. Give a central location inside where the board will be located. (since you have been in therapy 11 years, I take it you have done a system map? If not, perhaps you can talk to your therapist about this.) Ask everyone inside that if they take out time, please put down what they did and from what time to what time they were out. As time goes on, perhaps the others will be more comfortable talking to you, communicating without the message board but until that time, maybe this will work. You can also leave encouraging messages to everyone as well. (I am sure that since it seems everyone with you knows what you are doing all the time, they are probably reading this along with you! (smiles) Hello all!) I hope this helps in some way Ricky!



For Ricky:

This might not sound right to you now but after reading your post I'd say you are at a really good place in the process. I don't lose too much time these days so I have to go back about 5 years and remember when that happened more often. Some where along the line it just comes together and even though I can remember being at this point it seems like a life time ago.

I feel you are correct when you say that they seem to oversee everything. For me is was when I somehow learned to accept all the different "Me's" inside I began to see them in actions more. A little at a time as I learned to have an inner dialogue, it just seemed to happen. I realized that those daydreaming states I got in was like a stage for them to play out for me what they wanted. It seemed that the more I relaxed and accepted these different acting people inside, the less I was worried about them coming out in the real world. For me it was just a step in the process. I actually now can see and hear a different part of me when it comes out because I accept it as just that. A different part of me.

Good luck and keep asking questions that's how I got it together. Stay safe.

Lady J